No joke... At last week's appointment, The Husband handed me my phone when she said "Do you have any questions?" because he knew I'd been making notes since the day we came home from the hospital. There were no less than 12 questions on my list. I was an anxious mess.
Fast was good, I suppose, because it means that everything is going well. My hormone levels have dropped to 18, so they still drew blood because Dr. Bomb.com said she wants to follow it through to zero. Just to make sure the pregnancy is gone. That hit me more than I thought it would. I've been so focused on how to move forward, that I really didn't give myself a lot of time to consider that this really was the end of a pregnancy. One that we'd been hoping for. One that we were very happy about. So yeah. That sucked.
Otherwise, I'm healing like I should. My incision sites all look good. Well, except for the fact that I just added 3 additional scars to my abdomen... After my appendectomy back in 2009, which left 3 scars, this surgery left 3 more. Basically I won't be wearing a two-piece swim suit anytime soon! But who am I kidding... I stopped wearing those after I had a baby anyway. So that's really not too big a loss.
She did tell me, again, that I need to continue to take it easy, and to not do much "strenuous" activity. To which I chuckled, because well... I have an almost 2-year old who is VERY active. So that's funny. I have gained close to 10 pounds since surgery and my "taking it easy". Inactivity is not good for my soul. So I will not go crazy... But this girl needs to get moving again. I have to go back to see Dr. Bomb.com again in 4 weeks. I really hope at that point she says I'm a perfect picture of health and can go back to life as normal. That would be super nice to hear.
If you're at all curious... I did ask her when we could start trying again. This is such a foreign process to me, clearly, so maybe my new found knowledge can help someone or at least answer possibly peaked curiousities. Since I lost the pregnancy, I have to wait for the hormone levels to go back to normal, and my body has to get back to functioning like a regular non-pregnant woman. After I have my first post-op period, that will indicate that my body is back in working order. Dr. Bomb.com said this could take anywhere from 4-6 weeks. But after that happens, that means I am ovulating again, and we can start trying again. So please say lots of prayers for my speedy recovery internally and externally. I am really bad at being patient. This is something I'm working on daily throughout this process.
It's easy to dwell on what's happened and to let the negative thoughts creep in and take over. It's easy to get jealous of pregnant women, if for no other reason than I was happily pregnant and now I am not. My super positive attitude has started to dwindle, and it's not been a fun last few days. Putting on a brave face is a lot harder than I realized it'd be. But I am trying. I wake up and read Proverbs 31:25 every morning (because I have it written on my bathroom mirror). Then I go wake up Little P and give her a big big hug. Focusing on her happiness is the best medicine, and I feel insanely blessed that I was given the gift of being her mom before this happened. That's a privilege that not every woman in my position is able to experience.
So for the next 4-weeks, I have a few things I am focusing on:
1. My health. I am starting a plant based diet based on the book "The 22-Day Revolution". Today was Day 1. Working from the inside out to help myself (and my family) to make healthier choices about what we are putting in our bodies.
2. Finding time to exercise. I used to be a swimmer. I love swimming. I am making it a goal to make my fitness a priority, and to swim 5-days a week. The follow through is my biggest challenge.
3. Business. A while ago my sister and I decided to start a business. We got some of the framework done, then we both started working full time again and it fell to the wayside. Now that I have some time to focus my energy on that, I'm getting it back up and running.
4. My faith. I have an app on my phone called SheReadsTruth. It's a bible study app. I plan to tackle a few of these over the next 4 weeks.
5. My family. I am so grateful for the little family that I have. I am going to put even more effort into making sure we are spending as much quality time together as possible. A big part of this for me will be to limit technology. Put the phones away. We'll see how this goes!
As always, thank you for reading and being a part of this journey with me. My support system is the best out there.
0 comments:
Post a Comment